The Beautiful Coming-of-Age Lessons in Disney's Tangled
this is the story of how i died. don’t worry, this is actually a very fun story
Tangled was *the* Disney Princess movie for me growing up. It hit at the exact prime age and I watched wide-eyed as the musicality, storyline and magic swept me off my feet to the point where I would try to relive it in my head during long car rides.
So when I start thinking deeper about it, I’m amused by how alarming and wonderful this film was beyond what I could understand back then. Tangled touched on very dark sides of humanity and valuable fundamental uplifting truths about the world. I think it’s worth sitting with some of it for a while.
Let’s take a fun dive-
Parent-child abuse
Take it from your mumsy
On your own, you won’t survive
Sloppy, underdressed, immature, clumsy
It's probably the most obvious point to make. Even as children, it’s clear that something was worrying about Mother Gothel’s treatment of Rapunzel. Of course, we know why, but understanding these multitudes takes a while. I’ve often remarked that Rapunzel would need the most therapy out of all the princesses. The mother-daughter relationship can be very complicated beyond the surface. Because people are human, they aren’t likely to be completely kind or completely evil and in raising a child, both sides of someone’s personality can come out.
The kidnap, realisation of the lost time and stolen youth up to the precise moment and adjusting to an entirely new set of normals. Straight up traumatic. It’s a miracle that Rapunzel displays optimism and resistance as a significant part of her personality. We often acknowledge this on the surface as the film ends with the sun brightening the tower and Rapunzel embracing Eugene, cutting to the reunion with her family. It’s easy to forget what the shock must be like to realise that the first 18 years of your life have been stolen by a stranger who you saw as a parental figure.
In Mother Knows Best, Gothel gaslights and diminishes Rapunzel regarding her capabilities. We’ve already seen Rapunzel’s various talents and skills and it’s safe to say that as her constant and only companion, Gothel is aware of this. The manipulation is a response to the threatening nature of Rapunzel’s capabilities towards the dependence on Gothel. By attacking what Rapunzel can and can’t do, Gothel brings legitimacy to her role as she does so out of being the person who knows Rapunzel the best. At the same time, Rapunzel is less able to defend against these attacks as they skirt away from personal attacks or give light to Gothel’s obvious cruelty.
Gothel insists that Rapunzel is incapable of surviving in the outer world. The musical number unravels in the dark where Rapunzel’s hair is used against her to trap, disorient and potentially harm her, thus already giving her a taste of Gothel’s logic. The claustrophobic feeling frightens Rapunzel into submission and she is granted little grace to systematically address Gothel’s arguments. If we think about this as an attempt at communication, it’s clear that Gothel comfortably dominates.
Likewise, when Eugene comes to the tower, Rapunzel’s reaction is highly revealing. Initially, she is fearful, only knowing what Gothel has described of the outside world but when she locks Eugene in the closet, Rapunzel finds excitement to prove her resilience to Gothel. The eagerness to please illustrates the extent of belittling and emotional abuse that she has endured over the years.
Gothel continues to haunt Rapunzel through her journey. If we rewatch the film and take Gothel’s reappearances somewhat less literally and more abstractly, including all the times Rapunzel mentions her, Gothel always comes in a moment of silence or insecurity. This replicates the way trauma and criticism linger and it’s so poignant that the story includes it beyond plot necessity, particularly the Mother Knows Best Reprise where Rapunzel rejects Gothel for the first time. Some might expect Rapunzel to fully confront Gother or consider going back with her. We can read this as a moment of weakness for Rapunzel. She is still shaken despite her insistence to continue the journey
All of that leads to the last chilling image. Isn’t it heartbreaking that in the scene where Gothel falls from the tower, Rapunzel still reaches out with both hands?
Isolation and High-Functioning Coping
Stuck in the same place I’ve always been
And I’ll keep wondering and wondering and wondering and wondering
When will my life begin?
In the scenes where we’re introduced to adult Rapunzel, the opening sequence reveals the various hobbies and activities that Rapunzel indulges in to endure life in the tower. On the surface, this would be logical. If one lived in a tower and never ventured out, there would be an urge to develop some ways to pass the time. Anyone who has lived during the COVID-19 lockdowns can probably attest to considering some new hobbies.
Yet when the song slows and Rapunzel is forced to reflect on her reality, she gazes out the window with great sadness. She knows that her life has yet to begin. As a young woman, her bright personality is inevitable but we should take a moment to consider the mental implications of Rapunzel’s experiences.
All she has ever known is imprisonment. She paints the walls to bring colour into her life. She rereads the same books and spotlessly cleans. These are all activities that at one point were started in the hopes that it would enrich her life. She attempts to find her identity in the things she can do, much like how a young person explores their talents and career ambitions. Yet there is nothing concrete as she remains hidden from the world, unknown to anyone except her captor.
The story is engaging partly because there is a driving motivator in Rapunzel’s attraction to the lanterns. However, as viewers, it’s highly intriguing as we witness many of Rapunzel’s firsts outside her confines, especially her first interactions. She creates a life beyond the isolation and activities and for once can simply socialise. It’s a chance to discover her place in relation to others. In many ways, this is highly relevant to life where we often find ourselves in new environments and face it without the comforts and routines of our solitude.
Imagine the days and years before adult Rapunzel emerged. The emphasis is on finding things to do in the “empty everydays” and two living beings to socialise with. It’s not an environment that can reasonably bring healthy growth. Perhaps we can even consider her hobbies as coping mechanisms as she attempts to assert control and choice in what she does. Add that to the list for the therapist.
Terrifying Freedoms
For like the first time ever, I’m completely free!
Rapunzel feels a calling to the lanterns. Wonderfully, it happened to be because they were indeed meant for her. The king and queen released them in the hopes of sparking the missing princess’s curiosity and eventually leading her to her true calling in life. Whilst a rather sentimental take, perhaps there are things out there for us that are similarly “our calling”. It’s simply a matter of discovering, staying curious and chasing.
Rapunzel dreams of nothing but seeing the lanterns and in her happy personality, her humble hesitation is the most real thing to elevate her character. How many of us face new beginnings and independence with no ounce of nervousness? Probably no one.
It’s certainly very real that when freedom finally comes, regardless of how long we feel prepared for it, there’s a slip and a reversal fuelled by insecurity. I think it’s especially striking that Rapunzel’s 18th birthday is constantly emphasised. Across many cultures, it’s considered the legal age of majority, commonly recognised as the moment a child becomes an adult.
In real life, many would find parallels to Rapunzel’s emotional journey through the equivalent events in their lives. Moving out for the first time, pursuing higher education, living alone, trying new things, surviving, making ends meet, taking caring responsibilities and coming to terms with certain worldviews. When thinking about Tangled, it simply is a coming-of-age story.
We get to relish in the joy as Rapunzel flies down from her tower but she is not immune to wrong decisions, heartbreak and danger, just as the terror of freedom is thought to be connected. She makes mistakes in trusting Gothel, getting trapped in a water-filled cave and running from people.
Despite it all, by the end of the story, she gains complete freedom from Gothel. No more running away on borrowed time and trading favours with stolen crowns. She can thrive, free from her previous life now empowered by what she has learned about the world and herself.
The story emphasises that whilst there will be hardships and anxious decisions, facing them will always be possible, especially with the right people by your side to support you through terrifying freedoms.
Bodily Autonomy
I have magic hair that glows when I sing! Flower gleam and glow, let your power shine…
The first time Rapunzel uses her healing powers outside of the tower is to heal Eugene. It’s the first time she chooses to do so with complete free will. It comes from a place of care yet it’s not comparable to when Rapunzel previously heals Gothel where an underlying expectation exists.
The tower has limited her physicality. We see her climbing beams, suspending herself with her hair and dancing in circles. It confined her autonomy and the ways she could move her body. And her only human contact is someone who actively limits it. In the early scenes, we see that Gothel’s bedroom is secured by a door but Rapunzel’s only has a curtain. This is still true a decade later where Rapunzel emerges from the curtain to confront Gothel. Therefore, it is clear that Rapunzel was never protected in Gothel’s space. There was always access and unequal movement in the subtle way of privacy imbalances.
The first scene where Rapunzel returns to the tower emphasises Gothel’s undoing of Rapunzel’s braided hair. This is significant as the braided hair granted Rapunzel the ability to move freely and gallop as she pleased. She could dance around the kingdom and befriend people. It’s beautifully decorated with flowers to signify the beauty of this new freedom for her. The earliest time we see Gothel’s handling of Rapunzel’s hair is when she’s younger by the fire and asks her why the outside world is off-limits. Rapunzel’s lack of bodily autonomy and choice is contained by lies. Or when Gothel breaks into the castle to see baby Rapunzel. She initially intends to cut the hair, effectively assaulting and taking away from Rapunzel for her personal gain.
When I was little, I found Rapunzel’s confrontation with Gothel partially frustrating. I used to think, ‘Why couldn’t she just pretend everything was normal and run away when it’s convenient?’. Having since grown up, there’s a heavy importance in the confrontation scene. Rapunzel is reclaiming some power because in confronting Gothel, she makes it clear that the wrong-doings are more than known. It is an act of expression to honour her dignity. Standing up to the principle that she had been taken advantage of.
Eugene cuts her hair and this could be seen as chipping away at Rapunzel’s choice but it is for the sake of her freedom. It is a solution that Rapunzel hasn’t thought of, likely because it’s been ingrained in her how integral the hair is to her identity. Therefore, when Rapunzel confronts Gothel, that is already the end of the story. Or rather, the climax and catharsis. Eugene simply puts it into confirmation.
Many in real life may, unfortunately, relate to what Rapunzel went through in terms of a violation of bodily autonomy. With new social movements and the sharing of stories, some might find healing in voicing their experiences. Ultimately, this is a powerful story about a survivor reclaiming her power in speaking out. Think of how much society will be impacted and how people will feel compelled to help others when stories such as these are known and supported ranging from assault and prejudice to injustices.
A Virginity Metaphor
So if he’s such a dreamboat
Go and put him to the test
A few blog pages on the internet have somewhat explored this but it’s one that always stuck with me even if it’s somewhat twisted. If we take the theme of bodily autonomy further, paired with the romance aspect of the story, there are underlying implications that allude to cultural beliefs surrounding virginity.
Gothel insists on hiding Rapunzel from the world and mentions ‘thugs’ and ‘men with pointy teeth’ as predators. Interesting that she never alludes to women being a threat. She proclaims that Rapunzel would be taken advantage of for her hair. In the film, Rapunzel’s only interaction with a female figure is with Mother Gothel (not counting reuniting with her biological mother or background townsfolk). This stark difference and subtle isolation in terms of gender forces Rapunzel to accept Gothel’s proposed worldview.
Of course, Gothel couldn’t use this argument once Rapunzel befriends Eugene. The virginity metaphor takes a new form with the crown symbolising it. At the reprise, Gothel urges Rapunzel to put Eugene to the test by giving him the crown and ultimately he will leave once he has what he wants. Doesn’t that sound familiar to certain takes about relationships and virginity that young people, particularly women are warned about?
That’s not to say that Eugene is solely interested in the crown purely for the sake of it. His motivation has always been a quiet and comfortable life, inspired by his childhood hero. Poetically, he steals the crown from the kingdom and unknowingly but ironically brings it back to the lost princess. It is then up to Rapunzel to decide what to do with it and she uses it to empower and fulfil her ambitions in a safe, consenting and mutually respectful way.
Flashback to when Eugene and Rapunzel first meet. After Eugene is confined, Rapunzel admires the crown. She gazes in the mirror and her expression suggests a subconscious self-awareness of the crown’s significance to her. Unknowing to her, the crown has been hers all her life but it’s only due to contact with outside society to make her aware of it, especially how it can be valuable as a social tool.
Consequently, when Eugene wakes, she specifies the conditions he must follow to get the crown. He must take her to the lanterns, act as her guide and bring her safely home. This can crudely outline a date by some convention. The boat scene is romantic enough but taking that aside, Rapunzel is essentially asking him if he can take care of her and earn her trust. The act of taking her home could stand in for marriage or commitment as it ultimately ensures her safety and the point where she can prove Gothel wrong and that her wishes can be respected.
Rapunzel gives him the crown partially in a spontaneous move. It’s earlier than the outlined plan where he has to take her home. It is also noteworthy that Rapunzel leaves the crown in the tower during her outing, suggesting that she never intended to give it until she’s back at the tower. Mother Gothel is the one who turns this around after the intimate campfire scene where Rapunzel and Eugene get to know each other on a deeper level. After this point, Rapunzel knows that it’s a real possibility that she can give him the crown before returning to the tower. The reprise brings troubling insights now that their relationship has progressed and Rapunzel must make a choice.
She expresses that he has earned her trust and how it is clear that his kindness goes beyond the interest of his gain. She presents the sachel and says, “I should’ve given it to you before but I was just scared. Now I’m not scared anymore. Y’know?” Eugene validates her worries and they continue their little romantic scene. If the story ended here, it could’ve been the dream ending. There just happened to be the lost princess subplot to contend with.
Anyway, when Eugene does (seemingly) betray that trust, Rapunzel abruptly gives up on the world. Her mood replicates the real devastation that women experience around being taken advantage of with something society heavily places a value on. She allows Gothel to catch her and lead her soulless spirit back to the towering prison and hide away from the world. It’s understandable given how crushing this kind of betrayal and heartbreak is. It’s been seen through generations and cultures of stories and experiences.
When it’s finally set right and Eugene has gone to great lengths to evade his capture to ensure her safety, the crown reappears at the very end. As Rapunzel engages with the kingdom’s citizens wearing it for the first time and thus, having full control over it, he playfully steals it off her head. In response, she laughs, now comfortable enough in their relationship for it to be something that can take a fun interpretation beyond its connection to her identity.
It’s a loaded metaphor with many complexities. Gothel portrays the common anxieties around virginity and Rapunzel navigates having to deal with it and its subtle connection to her and her value. However, the story does give some hope that it might not necessarily have to lead to heartbreak. There will be some Eugenes in the world who will take responsibility and see the Rapunzels beyond the crown they carry.
Disguised Enemies
I’ve spent my entire life hiding from people who would use me for my power…but I should have been hiding… from you!
This is a sad truth about life. There will be people who pretend to be your friends only to hope for your downfall and humiliation. Significantly, Gothel is the antagonist of the story but she isn’t downright cruel or aggressive. She is manipulative, cunning and passive-aggressive. She can convey a kind exterior to keep Rapunzel by her own choice. Gothel can build a bond so strong that when she falters in “Now I’m the bad guy”, Rapunzel immediately feels guilty about voicing her desires. The betrayal isn’t just about the transgressions on Rapunzel’s bodily autonomy but about who Gothel pretended to be and how it was never genuine.
As Rapunzel paces and states the “should ’ves”, we can imply a sense of self-blame even though she is at no fault for not knowing disguised enemies. It is what the audience has known all along and perhaps we relate to the self-blame partially because it’s painful to be wrong about the people we trust but also because we feel the wasted time and energy placed in that relationship. We feel like we’ve made a fool of ourselves to others who may be watching.
Tangled could’ve been a story about Rapunzel pursuing her dream without the false support system breaking her down. It could’ve been a story about a happy princess coming to find her place in the kingdom or learning about new people. All these “could’ve’s" and “should’ve’s” don’t change the past regardless of how much we hope or mourn and that’s a significant part of life. There will be people who will damage you and you will spend time growing around what they have done.
Unlikely Friends
No really. Thank you. Uh. I feel maybe this whole time we’ve just been misunderstanding one another, and we’re really just–huh—yeah, you’re right, we should go.
On a quick but light-hearted echo of the previous point, friends can come from unexpected places, particularly if there’s a common interest to unite them. Maximus rebels against his very proud role and responsibility to help Eugene because they both care about Rapunzel. Of course, it’s wholesome and follows the cut of Eugene having previously tossed the apples or peace offerings before the boat ride.
Similarly, Rapunzel walks into the tavern shaking at the sight of these rugged men only for them to break into song a few minutes later and bond with her ambitions.
Emphasising the possibility of unlikely friends is a sweet nod to real life. Whilst we can get preoccupied with prejudices or personal priorities, we should control the extent how which strangers can scare us. When the guards come searching for Eugene, the tavern works together to help the pair escape thereby indicating that there is always the possibility of a kind stranger. We should always remain open to that and embrace new people. Adorably, after the men help Eugene escape prison and effectively bring Rapunzel home, no doubt she reciprocates to help them get a chance to show their talents in the kingdom.
Outgrowing Dreams
I had a dream once…
Why is it that all the men at the tavern have unfulfilled dreams?
A consistent theme of growing up is letting go. It’s why it’s not uncommon for older folks to occasionally speak of stories or ambitions they once pursued when they were younger but never got to the full brink of their hopes.
Sometimes life gets in the way or roadblocks change our priorities. Certain people come into our lives and they become our new dream or they intentionally take away from our chances. Yet to some extent, we should all strive like Rapunzel.
Rapunzel, knowing nothing but one person acts in good faith that Mother Gothel’s attitude does not replicate the real world and that there is space for her to pursue the lanterns. As she brings this fresh perspective into the tavern, the men slip into the attitude of “Well, why not?”. Why can’t they pursue things despite their age, setbacks, physical appearances or limited means? Even though Gothel refuses to support Rapunzel, she turns to her limited resources to maximise her chances and negotiates to make it possible.
At its heart, the story reminds us to hold onto dreams and to simply reconsider in an optimistic perspective when there are challenges. Some things will undoubtedly not be possible but at the same time, we tend to be more pessimistic than the limits of our abilities. It’s a beautiful story that gets us to reconsider what it means to outgrow dreams, especially if they are truly outgrown in the first place.
Putting On Appearances
And violence-wise, my hands are not the cleanest
But despite my evil look
And my temper and my hook
I’ve always yearned to be a concert pianist
Following the observation around dreams and personal ambitions, I briefly considered if it could draw on ideas around toxic masculinity. After all, many of the hobbies the men mention are somewhat comical only because they immediately disrupt our presumptions of their aggressive appearance. Some might even say they are stereotypically “feminine” hobbies with examples such as baking, knitting, puppeteering and collecting ceramic unicorns.
In growing up, it is a universal experience to feel greater pressure to conform to social expectations. Rapunzel challenges this notion and all of it unravels. Indeed, we should be asking ourselves why people’s opinions can affect our ambitions to the extent it does.
Alternatively, we can also celebrate the diversity of appearances and facets of an individual. Someone can look “mean and scary” while wanting to be an upbeat pianist. There is no need to sacrifice one for the other. Rather we should evaluate why it is such a dramatic twist when the “I’ve Got a Dream” sequence takes place. It rather indicates that as audiences and society, we are too accustomed to making assumptions out of appearances.
I will also argue that putting on appearances is an act of performativity. It’s not necessarily connected to a falsity. Even the king and queen’s release of the lanterns is a performative act to show their love for their daughter. Putting on an appearance is effectively an act of expression to convey the values that matter the most to us. It’s not all oppressive or diminishing.
Aside from the lure of immortality, Gothel’s addiction to Rapunzel’s hair likely has some roots in vanity and the need to look young. Gothel prides herself in her youthful feminity and what she can get from it. She charms the Stabbingtons with her looks. She continues to orchestrate the charade of a caring mother. The story is full of putting on appearances but it questions the outcome of it. Do we put on appearances to help achieve what we want? To mask and distract from our dreams?
So surely, to live authentically, we should aim to put on appearances that matter to us. This can mean re-orienting to better showcase our dreams proudly or to feel comfortable in multiple modes of expression. At the same time, we should work to disconnect from fast assumptions and prejudices.
The Reality
I’ve been looking out a window for eighteen years, dreaming about what it might feel like when those lights rise in the sky. What if it’s not everything I dreamed it would be?
They say never meet your heroes. When dreams are reached, sometimes melancholia sets in. Emptiness expands and we struggle with the aftermath.
In this scene, Eugene doesn’t offer an answer for what to do if the dream doesn’t hold up to our expectations. I think, quietly, the answer comes differently for everyone. It’s essentially a mourning process because a dream is far more than an ideal or pastime. Often, it can shape our identities. It’s not uncommon to spend a youth or many years chasing after a standard.
Who would know what Rapunzel would’ve done if it didn’t turn out as she hoped? Perhaps she would’ve secluded herself from the world just as Eugene acting as a new dream briefly failed her. We’ll never know.
However, Eugene makes it clear that we should have faith that the reality of a dream coming true can be good. It can be as wonderful as we imagined. A life full of dream checkpoints and experiences is a life well-lived.
Found Family
At last, Rapunzel was home and she finally had a real family. She was a Princess worth waiting for.
Of course, the film ends with Rapunzel finding her way home. However, the voice-over is quite important in mentioning the aftermath of the friends Rapunzel has made along the way. Whilst she meets her biological family, she has also created a family in the friends she met beyond Gothel’s manipulation.
Eugene finds a home in a kingdom where he was once charged with crimes. He once survived on his own in the shadows of anonymity and there’s a whole arc of letting it go for the sake of forming deep connections. Sometimes, all it takes to build a family is opening up, having faith and being kind.
This brings a lighter end to the story when considering the endlessness of Rapunzel’s isolation and abuse. We too must hold onto the notion that there will be people in the world who care. If it’s currently a dark and hopeless situation and the people around us are unsupportive, there will always be hope that someday things can change. Everyone effectively deserves a loving family. They might not be made of people that we assume at an early age but the connections we make with strangers and friends can be the most enriching thing in our lives.